Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A note to divorced parents....

About Mom....I am not sure why I am thinking about this tonight but, I wanted to share what was on my mind. I love my mom with all my heart and I would not be the person I am today without her. My mother raised my twin sister, brother, and I on her own. My mom is now remarried for the third time to a great man that treats her well. She lives about 3.5 hours away from me. She has recently gone through Breast Cancer and is now 3 months cancer free. She is and extraordinary woman! BUT.... my mom used to be so much about us that it has been very hard for me to get used to her being away from me and remarried. When something was wrong with me she was always there to do what ever I needed. She used to always call just to see how my family and I were doing. When ever I needed something or needed someone to talk to I would not hesitate to call her. She would send a card in the mail here and there or surprise me with something. And now If I want to talk to her I have to call, I can't remember the last time she called me. When I had my hysterectomy she did not even call to check on me to see how I was until my sister confronted her about it a week later. So my question is why? Will she ever be back to the mom I remember? It's very heartbreaking and I can't even sit here and type this without crying. I just want my mom back the way she was!
My Mom & Stepdad KennethAbout Dad... Where do I even begin. I didn't really grow up with my dad in my life. We visited him very randomly. I love my dad, well because he's my dad. I tried and tried to have a relationship with him but I think that's impossible. The reason I say that is because he makes promises he doesn't keep. I can't tell you how many birthdays he missed, mine and my kids. I got to the point where I don't even send him invitations to anything any more because he won't show. At least this way I know why he is not there and I don't have to beat myself up about why he didn't make it. I do still talk to my dad when I call him! I did go and see him when we went in for Christmas. I thought when mom was going through her cancer that he was going to change. Because he called a few times when we found out to see how we were, but that didn't last long. I don't see how a parent could live with a clear conscious knowing that they loved and raised kids that was not their own, and did a poor job on their real kids. I love my dad and want to have a relationship with him but how? So please if you have any thoughts or suggestions please let me know.

My Dad

My kids are my life and I can't not imagine ever being away from them and I pray that I won't have to. I know kids grow up and move on with their own lives, BUT children need their parents even when they have grow older.....PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!


Flo said...

You're making me sad! :( The only thing that comes to mind is Luke 6:30. It says to "Give to everyone who asks of you." Not to those who deserve it, not to those who will take it and abuse it, not to those who don't need or want it, but give to EVERYONE. Your love, your time, your money, whatever. Love them just as He did us. That's the only way you can be joyful in that area of relationships....they're hard. But let them see His light through you. I love you! Good blog...

marci peach said...

Wow...I take my parents for granted. Thank you for the reminder! You are a great mother and you have continued to honor your parents, even though it has been hard. You and a thousand generations will be blessed as you continue to honor them. And just maybe your continued love and honor will be just what they need to come back to you. But remember, your heavenly Father is always there for you. He never forgets, get's too busy, or let's you down. Cling to him!! And let your friends fill in some gaps, that is what we are here for!!! Love-Marci

Sparkle Dirt said...

I ran across your blog today & before I even comment I want to tell you that it's GREAT! You have done a wonderful job. We've lost touch & I hate that. Sometimes I wish we were all back in school again, but then I slap myself (lol).

I read this & cried. In a way it just hit too close to home. Maybe in a different kind of way, but it made me feel a little less alone.

I share your inability to understand how a person can care for other children & at the same time ignore their own.

My kids are my world. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for them. I do dread the time that they don't "need me" as much as they do now, but I want to do everything in my power to make sure that they know that I will ALWAYS be here for them no matter what life brings.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Give your kids the opportunity & priveledge to know their parents love them & are there for them no matter what.